Further Down The Path (Week 7)

For the week of May 20th to 26th

I read a lot this week, wrote a lot, painted a lot; I spent time in nature and reflected on the seasons. I worked and I gardened. It was all very lovely, but it didn’t go beyond the regular scope of daily life. So, instead of a topical recap, I’m going right for the finale; for what I really want to talk about is spiritual growth.

 

Meditation & Trance Work

I feel as though I’ve broken through a barrier with my meditation. I am able to hold focus with little effort and for longer periods of time. I am beginning to really feel a shift in my consciousness.

 

Camille Flammarion.  An illustration depicting the known universe and the shared human desire to see further; to get closer to (the) God(s)/Goddess(es.)

Camille Flammarion.
An illustration depicting the known universe and the shared human desire to see further; to get closer to (the) God(s)/Goddess(es.)

 

It happens almost suddenly, much in the way lucid dreaming has been unintentionally triggered for me before. Despite having my eyes closed, I feel like my vision loses focus allowing me to see deeper into the darkness in front of me. There is movement there, a slow turning that I can manipulate until it becomes a window into the cosmos. The inky blackness moves and I, in turn, rush in, while still being totally aware of my body and my breathing. I summon roots, directing them to break through my thighs and sprout from my tail bone, reaching downward toward the soil. These roots are strong, chewing through man-made construction and the bedrock below. I can feel the sudden coolness resonating from the earthly waters, which appear to me as a deep, dark lake amid a giant underground cavern. Yet there is light, glowing faintly from some unknown source (maybe bioluminescence?) There is also sound in this cavern; a muffled rushing as countless underground streams and rivers empty into the lake.

I send down my roots, which descend through the empty space between the rock and the water. The moment of impact is almost tangible; the water is ice cold, like early spring glacial runoff that hasn’t yet been warmed by the sun. The water feels intelligent and old, very old. The tips of my roots are raw and beaten from eating through so much debris, yet the moment they enter the water they are instantly soothed.

As I rest my roots in the Well of the Earth, I straighten my spin and gently flex my neck so my face turns towards the daylight. I feel the celestial light wash over, swirl around me in the wind, or through me if the sun or moon meets my countenance. I rest a moment, present in body and open to the experience, as I reconnect with my roots and focus on my breath. Then I search for my star.

Despite the narration of The Two Powers meditation, I never feel or see my star directly above my head. I find her (for some reason she feels innately feminine) in a direct line from my third eye chakra, deep within the galaxy. She is deceptively small, as the distance makes her but a speck in the sky; easily overlooked as the brighter astral bodies swirl around her. But we see each other and for a moment that connection is stark, like finding a familiar face on the other side of a crowded room. I approach her with respect and admiration, letting her swell towards me in response to my call. Her light begins to grow, steady and warm, until a slightly unfocused golden beam falls from the sky. As the beam hits me, I shiver. My feet and thighs are cold from the contact with the earthly waters as my face and shoulders start to flush in the warm beam. I hold both sensations, both powers, tethered to me.

This is when I call the waters. I imagine my roots become permeable and instead of the waters moving around them, healing the surface, they now take the waters in. Up the water travels, back through the bedrock until it winds around the sewers, pipes, and foundations of the city. I let some of the water trickle out from tiny offshoots, sharing this power with the sleeping seeds and life, both plant and animal, that may need it. Finally, the water reaches my base, but instead of pooling it starts running through my veins, mixing and diluting my blood. The tips of my fingers tingle and my skin reacts to the sudden coolness and, despite the warmth from my star, I shiver.

I feel the water most in my heart, as it pumps effortlessly, moving the water through my body, healing and strengthening. I open my mouth slightly and let the light pour in, illuminating my lips and my chest, until it reaches my heart. I see it, this reaction, like champagne bubbles or a sprinkling of salt in vinegar – it effervesces in me and quickens. And greedily, I hold onto this feeling as long as I possibly can.

But slowly it fades. My roots are the first to retract, withdrawing from the primal source of water, like retractable talons they stiffly recoil back within. I flex my toes and my lower back. Next I breathe deep once more before letting my breath return to normal and I begin to release the light of my star. Each time I feel it’s vital that I learn her name, her purpose, her representation – like she is the astral body of a Goddess or an Ancestor, yet nothing so far has been made clear to me. I offer her my gratitude and feel her final light as blessing as she turns away. Yet, on some level, I need to know her name.

Sometimes I just sit and let myself slowly return, like waking up from a deep sleep. Other times my eyes open immediately, like I’ve been kicked in the stomach and instinctively gasp for breath.

Seven weeks to make progress, but like all new things, there is that moment of understanding. I feel that I’ve had that moment, where I’m no longer uncomfortably fidgeting and fighting the impulse to check the time or tuck a lose strand of hair behind my ear. I feel calm, settled, like I’m on my way to understanding the trail of crumbs leading me to wisdom.

This week has been extraordinary.

 

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Further Down The Path (Weeks 5 & 6)

For the weeks of May 6th – 12th & May 13th – 19th.

A Time of Reflection

As I wrote yesterday, I’ve been in an introspective sort of state. This doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned my studies – quite the opposite, really. I’ve been digesting what I’ve learned and putting it into practice. I’ve been considering the lessons I’ve learned while mentally organizing and cataloging all the new information I’ve absorbed. I’ve been meditating, contemplating, walking through the woods, and painting. But now that I feel I’ve finished assimilating, it’s time to articulate these experiences before moving on to the next.

Meditation and Trance Work

I like to meditate in the mornings. After yoga, a shower, and some breakfast, it’s the perfect way to ease into the day. I don’t work on any specific meditative practice during this time, I simply sit on my deck, surrounded by my plants and the morning light, and breathe. Sometimes, if I’m really tired, I try to build some energy through opening my chakras. But I’ll be honest, it doesn’t usually work. A car drives by or one of my crows stops in to see if there’s any breakfast, and my concentration is shattered. Honestly, it doesn’t bother me at all. Divinity is found in the simple ritual of sitting quietly; muscles warm and relaxed after yoga and a hot shower; my belly full with a green smoothie or, if I’ve been bad, some whole grain pancakes or porridge; my hair still wet and sticking to my shoulders and back; the cool morning air circulating around me making the hairs on my arms react; the smells – of the bakeries down the street and the earthy living scent of my garden. I don’t need to open my chakras to feel rejuvenated and wholly present; just being there, aware and filled with gratitude, does it for me.

While this practice is spiritually necessary, one of the goals of meditation (in my own clumsy words) is to gain wisdom, to try and understand the cosmos, and my morning routine doesn’t exactly do that. That’s not to say there isn’t wisdom in the quiet reflection of my sleepy little garden. But there needs to be more direction, more focus, so I’ve been working on The Two Powers meditation. I was having a little trouble because, although I have been attempting to memorize the script, trying to recite it to myself was very un-meditative. I was considering recording as an mp3 when a friend and fellow DP student pointed out that Ian Corrigan had already done this. Well, problem solved. I’ve been working with his recording and it’s helped me exponentially. Thanks, Gentlemen – you both rock.

ADF Studies

I took a weekish off from studying for ADF so I could fully reflect on my Beltane experiences as well as read a couple non-ADF books. Last week I started reading Drawing Down The Moon by Margot Adler for one of my Modern Paganism titles. I read this book 8 or so years ago when I first started studying Paganism, and for someone brand new to the path I remember it being a little overwhelming but very informative. Despite having read it already, I wanted to give it another look, especially an analytical look. I’m most interested in seeing if her views are still relevant, some 30 years since the original publication, as well as when viewed by someone who has been reading and practicing Neo-Paganism for some time. I’ve heard a lot of negative things about Ms. Adler’s writing, but I haven’t let them influence my perception going in. It’s often true that the more widely published a Pagan author is, the more flack they get from the community. Some of it is warranted – Silver Ravenwolf is unreadable, for instance. But Scott Cunningham was a lovely man and an eloquent writer, despite his popularity. I’m giving Adler the same benefit of the doubt.

Aside from reading, I’ve begun looking toward the Summer Solstice, which is a month away. I am hoping to borrow a tent form a friend and spend the night beneath the stars, but I’m not entirely sure that will be possible. Either way, I feel that this High Day needs to be spent out of doors. For Beltane, I modified two rituals and added my own words to make it a little more personal. I am hoping to take it a step further and write the entire ritual for the Summer Solstice. I’d like to join the Bards Guild at some point, so working on my spiritual writing in preparation is something I need to do.

I’ve also been been considering starting my Virtue Essays. I want to wait until later in my DP year to write many of the essays required, as I want my experiences practicing ADF Druidry to be reflected in my writing. While there is no doubt that my perception of the virtues will change, I think it’s time that I start (at least preliminarily) to put my thoughts down.

Nature Awareness

Part of the DP is to focus on Nature Awareness. I find this instruction rather redundant, as it was my awareness of nature that lead me to Paganism in the first place. Every day I’m aware. I observe, I listen, I write, I paint, I interact, and I give thanks to nature. But the past two weeks have been especially lovely. Check out yesterday’s post for some photos and reflections on May in Beautiful British Columbia.

On Saturday, I found a molting female elephant seal on the beach not too far from my home. While the Parks Board has roped off a large area for her, my mind has continually gone back to her welfare. Today is a public holiday in British Columbia and the day is sunny and warm. I think the beach will be crowded with families enjoying one of the first beach days of the season, and I feel the seal’s comfort and safety may be at risk. I think I’ll head down to the beach to check on her and make sure the children and dogs are giving her enough space. While I’m always aware and (overly?) sensitive to human involvement/infringement with and on wildlife and nature in general, I feel especially concerned for this seal. She really picked the wrong beach to rest on.

Molting female elephant seal. The Parks Board roped off a quarter acre for her so she could have some space, but I feel her presence on a heavily-trafficked public beach puts her at risk.

Molting female elephant seal. The Parks Board roped off a quarter acre for her so she could have some space, but I feel her presence on a heavily-trafficked public beach puts her at risk.

I hope this finds you enjoying the beauty of spring,
Eira.

 

Nature Is My Temple

In which the Witch digests her words

Some weeks I don’t feel much like writing. It’s a cyclic thing, really – going from experience to reflection to introspection. The past two weeks I’ve been feeling fairly non-communicative, being in the introspective arch in my pattern. So I read a few novels and watched some crappy movies. For years I felt like I was wasting time and often chided myself, thinking this time could be spent learning or experiencing or progressing. I know now that that’s total bullshit. Downtime is essential. What does a snake do after eating a large meal? It rests while digesting. During the winter nature looks inward and prepares for the spring. After absorbing a lot of new information and experiences whilst expending a lot of energy, is it so unnatural to shut down a bit while ones mind and body fully digests?

But the wheel always turns…

I emerged from my mid-spring hibernation late last week feeling revived and balanced. I usually spend weeks like this in the woods or by the sea, painting, writing, exploring, etc… Regardless of the activity, I feel an intense craving for natural surroundings during these times, cravings so intense they’ve woken me in the middle of the night, panic-stricken and disoriented. The only cure is to shed my socks and shoes and bury my toes in the soil or sand. I leave my coat or sweater in the car and expose as much skin as legally allowed so I can feel the wind move acrossaroundoverthrough my body and stir within me something deep and primal. I soak up the sun and let the rain mat my hair.

This is my ritual, my prayer, my temple. I leave offerings to the spirits of the land and little presents for the birds and animals. I pick up trash while talking to the trees. I believe the Gods and Goddesses are everywhere, all the time, and so if my workings are done outdoors in nature, so shall they be my ritual.

She who charts the seasons

I also use this time to chart the seasons. Observing which plants are in flower, which flowers are going to seed, and which seeds are being scattered is so deeply meditative. I sketch and paint in my nature journal in an attempt to intimately understand all forms of life. I’ll leave you with a few of my favourite observations of this past weekend…

The salmon berry bushes are ripening, many with a mixture of hard green berries and fully ripe orange and red berries. I picked a few for a snack but left most for the gray squirrels who were collecting them.

The salmon berry bushes are ripening, many with a mixture of hard green berries and fully ripe orange and red berries. I picked a few for a snack but left most for the gray squirrels who were collecting them. (Photo taken with my iPhone with no editing.)

The thimble berry bushes are fully in bloom, their petals resembling the delicate wild rose bushes also in the area. Thimble berries are my absolute favourite of the local berries, but they usually don't ripen until July.

The thimble berry bushes are fully in bloom, their petals resembling the delicate wild rose bushes also in the area. Thimble berries are my absolute favourite of the local berries, but they usually don’t ripen until July. (Taken with my iPhone.)

The Laburnum, or yellow chain tree, are in full bloom. You can hear the drone of the bees 10 feet away. (Taken with my iPhone.)

The Laburnum, or yellow chain tree, are in full bloom. You can hear the drone of the bees 10 feet away. (Taken with my iPhone…too windy for a very clear shot.)

My favourite log on one of my favourite local beaches. The shore is lines with rowan trees, beech trees, and maple, which make for a truly unique atmosphere. There were Canadian geese with their goslings swimming out in the bay, but I didn't have my good camera with me to get a photo.

My favourite log on one of my favourite local beaches. The shore is lined with rowan trees, beech trees, and maple, which makes for a truly unique atmosphere. There were Canadian geese with their goslings swimming out in the bay, but I didn’t have my good camera with me to get a photo. (Taken with my iPhone.)

Saturday had the most brilliant rain storm, with wind and a bit of thunder. I happened to find myself at my favourite duckpond next to the beach, where two Swans were taking their cygnets out for a swim.

Saturday had the most brilliant rain storm, with wind and a bit of thunder. I happened to find myself at my favourite duckpond next to the beach, where two Swans were taking their cygnets out for a swim.

The Parks Board had roped off a section of the beach to protect this molting elephant seal. She looked absolutely miserable in the rain and wind, but I was so pleased at how respectful people with dogs were being of her condition.

The Parks Board had roped off a section of the beach to protect this molting elephant seal. She looked absolutely miserable in the rain and wind, but I was so pleased at how respectful people with dogs were being of her condition.

There were also eagles, a great blue heron, red winged black birds, crows, a raven, gulls, pigeons, and all sorts of small birds hanging around the duckpond. The island in the middle where the ducks nest is obscured by bushes, but I think I heard the faint peeps of baby mallards and mergansers coming from the brush. Next week I will definitely return to see how they fare.

Sometimes, all one needs is a weekend in nature.

Further Down The Path (Week 4)

For the week of April 29th to May 5th.

Spiritual Hangover

I believe I’m suffering from a spiritual hangover. Let me explain.

The lead up to Beltane was indescribably satisfying. I traveled the city and surrounding natural nooks to find branches from specific trees, to gather water from specific locations, to observe and record the changing season. I stood on the beach and watched the sun set. I stood in the rain beneath the pines and breathed deep the cool mountain air.

Beltane was remarkable; sunny and warm with a cool breeze off the ocean. If you want to read about my ritual, follow this link; there is too much to say to sum it up here.

But this was all early in the week, and the days following Beltane were challenging. I felt like I was in ritual withdrawal. My energy was drained and my mind kept returning to the experiences of Beltane. I spent a lot of time outdoors painting and no time reading or meditating. Maybe this is what it will be life for me. Maybe I’ll need this comedown time after a ritual to assimilate the experience into my life before I can continue in my practices. There is something rather beautiful about that. I like this feeling of being charged and changed by ritual.

Beyond Beltane

I’ve decided the next book I’m going to read for my DP is Drawing Down The Moon by Margot Adler. I started reading this book when I was a teenager, but it was a little too in depth for my undeveloped mind and I put it aside. I was planning on working on my first Virtue essay, but I’ve decided to wait until later in my DP year for those as I want to spend more practical time working with the Virtues so I can write from personal experience.

May Your Fires Burn Bright – Beltane Ritual

This was my first ADF ritual, and maybe more importantly, my first High Day celebration with a Druidic twist. I didn’t find myself nervous like I did when I was building up to my first Wiccan High Day, which let me relax and focus more on the experience and less on the formalities. Part of the DP training requires the student to write a short essay on their experiences at each of the High Days, and while this post will definitely be that, I also want to include some thoughts on the lead up to Beltane. 

The Triple Hallows

In my Hearth Culture, the Cosmos are thought of as Three Realms: Sky, Land, and Sea. The Sky is where the Shining Ones dwell and is represented by the Fire Hallow. The Land is where we dwell and is represented by the Sacred Tree. The Sea is the Underworld where the dead journey to reach the afterlife, and is represented by the Well. Together the Triple Hallows form the Sacred Center, which is opened during ritual to connect us with those beyond the veil.

So,when preparing for Beltane, I created my Triple Hallows.

On Making Holy Water

The Well is essential to Druidic ritual. During the ritual the Well is filled with Holy Water and is used to anoint those in attendance as well as the shrine, much in the way Holy Water is used in other religions. There are many different methods, thoughts, practices, etc… that people go by to create Holy Water, which really is just water blessed by or sacred to the user.

I gave this process a lot of thought, as I didn’t want to just fill up my Well with tap water. I chose to honor the Three Realms dually by filling my Well with waters collected from three different sources.

For Land, I chose a mountain spring. This water runs from deep within the roots of the Coastal Mountains and is as clean and pure as water can get.

Mountain Spring, Lynn Valley Headwaters. Taken with my iPhone.

Mountain Spring, Lynn Valley Headwaters. Taken with my iPhone.

For the Sea I went up a ways up the inlet to where the water is unpolluted by urban industry. The sun was setting on Beltane Eve and the experience was nothing short of moving. I kicked off my shoes and stood in the cool waters of high tide and felt the glow of dusk settle around the harbor.

Sunset at Cates Park. Photo taken on my iPhone.

Sunset at Cates Park. Photo taken on my iPhone.

For the Sky, I wanted to collect rain water. The irony wasn’t lost on me that the moment I decided to do this, the clouds parted and the sun came out. So, I gathered the next best thing: fresh glacial run-off and snow melt from high in the mountains. Unfortunately, I left my phone in the car and was unable to take a picture.

The Ritual

My shrine. I've been collecting more branches for my Sacred Tree, which now has Rowan, Oak, Apple, Willow, and Maple. While Maple is not one of the sacred Druidic trees, it is sacred to Canada and felt my own homeland spirits should be honored.

My shrine. I’ve been collecting more branches for my Sacred Tree, which now has Rowan, Oak, Apple, Willow, and Maple. While Maple is not one of the sacred Druidic trees, it is sacred to Canada and felt my own homeland spirits should be honored.

I started the ritual with ringing my little brass bell 9 times and working through the Two Powers meditation. Next came Purification and I opted to use my favourite stanza from my favourite poem by Percy Shelley. I have always felt that it has a strong tie to Paganism, despite that not being the author’s intent:

I am the daughter

Of Earth and Water

And nurseling of the Sky

I pass through the pores

Of the Ocean and the Shores

I change, but I cannot die

I honored the Earth Mother with an offering of honey and corn meal.

Offerings to the Earth Mother.

Offerings to the Earth Mother.

During the Earth Mother offering I was overcome by an emotion I don’t fully understand. Tears started running down my cheeks and despite my warm apartment, I started to shiver. It wasn’t a negative feeling in the slightest, but I wouldn’t describe it as overwhelmingly positive either. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully understand it, but I plan on meditating on the emotion to see if I can learn anything new.

I honored Cernunnos as the Gatekeeper, and offered him sage leaves and olive oil, which I burned in the cast iron firepot which serves as my Fire Hallow. I’ve never honored Him as anyone other than the God of a ceremony, but I think we were both happy with Him in this role. I always felt Cernunnos was introverted and observant, so I think He enjoyed being included but not in the spotlight.

I made sacrifices to the Ancestors, Spirits, and Gods and Goddesses in the form of fresh rosemary from my garden, which I burned in my firepot, and hot tea sweetened with honey. The tea was a blend of hibiscus petals, rose hips, orange peel, blackberry leaves, and ginger root. I think the combination of the vibrant fuchsia colour and intense summer flavours was a perfect offering for Beltane. 

My Beings of Occasion were Blodeuwedd and the Sidhe. I wrote them each a short poem and read them during the ritual. I gave them both some of my Beltane tea as well as lavender flowers for Blodeuwedd and a dogwood flower for the Sidhe.

Quert, or Apple, Ogham Stave. This stave comes from my set that is made from each corresponding wood type by a Coven in England.

Quert, or Apple, Ogham Stave. This stave comes from my set that is made from each corresponding wood type by a Coven in England.

After the offerings and blessing requests, I spread my handmade casting cloth and drew one Ogham stave. I drew Quert – the Apple Tree, which speaks of Choice and Mental Healing. Mentally, I have been healing from past traumas which have had a significant impact on my life. I feel that for the first time since childhood I’ve been free to make decisions that aren’t centered around my mental state. I’m taking this as an omen that the Goddesses and Gods are standing with me, encouraging me, and above all telling me that I’m (finally) on the right path. This Ogham also talks about mental discipline and focusing ones energies. Could this be about my recent move to ADF and Druidry? Could this be them agreeing that this is the right place for me? Finally, Quert can be a sign to make a choice. This may be the first time in my life that I don’t feel I’m at a crossroads, so I’m not entirely sure what choice it’s speaking of. Maybe the choice correspondence isn’t relevant to me, and I drew this stave because of the mental healing and academic discipline meanings. Time will tell, I’d imagine. Regardless, I believe this was an wonderful sign that my offerings were accepted and blessings were bestowed.

After the omen, I gave my thanks and closed the gates.

Reflections…

Throughout the entire ritual, I felt centered and empowered. I opted to move my shrine indoors, which I initially thought would take away from my connection to the Earth, but it wasn’t too much of a hindrance. (I have a nosy neighbour who likes to look around the privacy divider between our balconies whenever she hears me outside.) I loved the flow of the ritual, the pacing, and the atmosphere. The burning herbs mixed with the oak shavings and cedar incense, the sweet herbal tea and the water from my three sources… it was indeed magickal. I will admit that in the past I never really felted moved at rituals, I felt like I was going through the steps, more so focused on fancy words written by others than on the actual spirituality. This was different; I truly felt connected. 

I hope this post finds you spiritually sated and in the after-glow of your own Beltane experiences,
Eira Silversage.