Further Down The Path (Weeks 8-10)

For the weeks of May 27th to June 16th.

Why haven’t I been writing, you wonder? Well, it’s June. The weather is warm, my garden is growing, the woods are filled with berries and beautiful green things. The days are long and the nights are mild. Even rainy days aren’t discouraging; the cool droplets falling freely onto warm, sticky skin is refreshing (nothing makes me feel more alive than standing in summer rain.) So, I haven’t felt much like writing.

Trance Work & Meditation

I’ve been meditating outside, when able; beneath a tree or upon a sand dune, with the sky above and the the earth below. The Two Powers comes so easily when there is nothing between me and the source. I haven’t experienced any more seriously freakin’ prolific trances like in May, but I’m not really trying to recreate such a thing. I think that day was a gift, given to me by my star as a means of introduction. I know She’s there, and I look for her often. When there is more to say I’m sure she’ll call on me again. For now, I’m continuing to work on stilling my mind and opening my spirit to the powers and to the universe. It’s been very rewarding. Additionally, I find that it’s helping me manage my anxiety issues in an unexpected way. When I enter a meditative state with a calm mind, I’m able to retain that clarity and stillness for an extended period of time once I’ve exited the meditation. This is an excellent skill that I’m hoping to expand on, as my brain chemistry is a little screwed, and I tend to get overwhelmed or anxious if life gets too chaotic around me.

ADF Studies

I’m still working through Drawing Down The Moon by Margot Adler. It’s been a painfully slow experience for me, as I tend to gobble up books like a hungry little bear. Maybe I should stop reading other books at the same time so my attention isn’t split, eh? As I’ve said before, I find her writing a little dry and technical, while I few Paganism with a fluid beauty – it’s something to feel with and inspire the mind, not something to technically dismantle with overly-complicated writing and pretentious quotations. I know that is beyond hypocritical of me, as what draws me to Druidry is a scholarly love of tradition and lore, but I am a firm believer that you can have beauty and inspiration in history; eloquent prose can deliver just as much information as stereo instructions.

Nature Awareness

The rest of this update will be done in pictures.

The wild roses were out at the end of May/beginning of June. Their intoxicating smell heralds the onset of summer like nothing else for me.

The wild roses were out at the end of May/beginning of June. Their intoxicating smell heralds the onset of summer like nothing else for me. (Photo taken with my iPhone.)

Remember the family of swans I wrote about earlier? Well the cygnets are 3 down from 7. It's believed that a raccoon is responsible, so at least they were lost to natural causes and not human stupidity.

Remember the family of swans I wrote about earlier? Well the cygnets are 3 down from 7. It’s believed that a raccoon is responsible, so at least they were lost to natural causes and not human stupidity. (Photo taken with my iPhone.)

The salmon berries are coming to an end, but the thimble berries are well on their way. By mid-July the first should be ready for munching.

The salmon berries are coming to an end, but the thimble berries are well on their way. By mid-July the first should be ready for munching. Also shown, cottonwood trees are dusting the forest with their seeds, leaving a fine gossamer-like web over everything. (Photo taken with my iPhone.)

Deer can be found throughout wooded areas in my neighbourhood. I sat and watched this doe for well on half an hour, but didn't get much closer - I didn't want to disturb her.

Deer can be found throughout wooded areas in my neighbourhood. I sat and watched this doe for well on half an hour, but didn’t get much closer – I didn’t want to disturb her. (Photo taken with my iPhone.)

Foxglove lined the pathways on the cedar trail, making for beautiful late-evening photography. (Photo taken with my iPhone.)

Foxglove lined the pathways on the cedar trail, making for beautiful late-evening photography. (Photo taken with my iPhone.)

And there you have it. Wishing you all a blessed Summer Solstice!

Further Down The Path (Week 1)

It’s no secret that the older you get, the faster time seems to move. I don’t know about you, but I can barely remember the details of what I did last Friday, let alone last Monday. Weeks blur together and leave me with a feeling; good, bad, mediocre, painful, joyous, anxious, etc. Or, if any of you are as empathetic and emotional as I am, you may also feel all those emotions on a daily basis. This is why I journal, so my life doesn’t pass me by without being able to take pause and really remember how much beauty was in a certain sunset, or why I felt so rotten/happy/angry on a particular day.

I realized shortly after joining ADF that I’d need to reevaluate how I organize my life. Not to say that I was previously “wrong” in how I was living, but more so because my priorities shifted, and religious practices and pursuits are now at the forefront. Essentially, I was no longer meditating to only gain a little mental stillness; I was meditating to meet my deities. I was no longer wandering the forest trails and having moments of undeniable connection with the hidden groves and sacred trees of my land, I was communing with nature and interacting with the Spirits. Perhaps I was doing the latter all along, and only now have the knowledge to give such moments a name.

For the week of April 7th – 14th.

Meditation and Trance Work

I have this routine; I wake up, do 20 minutes of sun salutation-style yoga, then sit down on my deck and meditate to welcome the new day. It’s a grounded and thoughtful way to start the day; when I’m forced to skip it, I get cranky. While I do understand and appreciate the religious qualities and intentions of yoga, this is not an area I’m focusing on currently (there is only so much I can fit in my brain at once.) But meditation, now that is skill I seriously need to cultivate.

I have a love/hate relationship with meditation. No, not hate; it’s frustration, pure and simple. I have this idea in my head that, for me, meditation is achieving serenity. So I settle myself in the lotus position, surrounded by the chirping songbirds and the smell of cool, dewy evergreens. It’s shortly after dawn, and even with eyes closed, my vision is flooded with warm sunlight. I still my mind and just breathe; in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4. I sometimes chant “as above, so below” in my mind as I breathe, as I feel it lulls any lingering outer-world distractions.

But this state lasts for about 5 minutes before a car door slams, my tummy rumbles, or my mind starts in on the day’s to-do list. After that initial state is broken, I can never seem to regain it. Once my brain shifts from a quiet state, I have to think too much to still it and all is lost. Our Own Druidry talks about practicing achieving the meditative state; that, like any skill, it needs to be nurtured in order to be improved upon. So while Passing the Mist is something I am deeply looking forward to, I know I am not ready yet. Any attempts I make right now to enter the other realms, to leave my earthly body, to go just a little bit deeper would only be the fantasies of a wannabe. So, for now, every morning and every evening, I will continue practicing. Even if I find myself sitting in front of my shrine going over my recipe for blueberry muffins.

Our Own Druidry

When I first joined ADF in late February, I read through Our Own Druidry – Dedicant Manual. This first pass was intended to familiarize myself with the lore and ritual of ADF; sort of like trying something on before buying it. Clearly, I bought it. And this past week I reread the manual, highlighter and page markers in hand, to really absorb the foundation of ADF. Spirituality aside, what really struck me was the frank honesty of the authors. Until now, so much of what I’ve read by Neo-Pagan organizations feels like a sort of posturing. People want their path to be the path, and in doing so seem to replace authenticity with either vanity or ego. So little attention is actually given to the heritage of Neo-Pagan beliefs, that it allows for people to ad lib an entire religion around themselves  (essentially forming a cult) or exist in the shallow waters of “OMGs I LOVED Practical Magic. Blessed Be, Dear Sister.”

Neither have any appeal to me. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that I am embarrassed and offended when lumped together with such individuals. Which is essentially why Wicca ceased to appeal to me.

I’ve been searching for real Neo-Paganism; the kind that is rooted in history and lore, that focuses on a way of life and not an image or an after-thought. I want to create life-long bonds with the spirits of this land and with my Gods and Goddesses. I want to honor my ancestors. I want to develop friendships with those who walk this path, ones built on respect and kinship. I want to help build a community. Reading the Dedicant Manual for a second time made me flush with inspiration and, what I can only recognize as, commitment.

ADF Studies

This week I went through the Dedicant’s reading list and selected the books I want to read this year. My ever-supportive husband gave me the green light, and I bought all of them. Every last carefully selected one (8 in total.) They are now hurdling towards me in an Amazon.ca package, right into my outstretch grabby hands.

I admit, Hearth Cultures really had me stumped. I’ve always had a bit of trouble distinguishing between intellectual/scholarly interest and spiritual connection. I’ve studied Paganism long enough to know that what you necessarily like doesn’t equate with attunement and connection. I have been a worshiper of the Celtic pantheon since before I started official Pagan studies, and haven’t really ever considered other alternatives. I do, however, have a really strong interest in the Norse pantheon and have always wanted to know more about the Saxons. I figured this was an excellent time to invest in all three.

While I have no doubt the Celt’s are my Hearth Culture, I am incredibly interested in the practice some Grove’s have adopted which honor specific pantheons for specific High Days. One day, when I’m part of a Grove, I think I’d be open to this.

Well before I joined ADF I bought “Travels Through Middle Earth” by Alaric Albertsson, which happens to be on the reading list for Saxon Hearth Culture. I bought this book mainly because I’m a glutton for anything relating to the stories and lore of Middle Earth (both Tolkien’s Middle Earth and our own.) I started reading it last night, and so far it’s been incredibly enjoyable and informative. I love Albertsson’s sense of humor and his very approachable way of delivering the information. I won’t say much more for now, as it will all be in my eventual book report.

Nature Observations

Where I live, it’s hard not to observe the seasons. I’m lucky enough to be facing away from the city towards the mountains, so I see trees. Oh, so many trees! The new growth on the tips of the evergreens are bright and supple this week. The cherry trees are in full bloom, their soft-pink petals falling like snow when the wind stirs. In fact, it’s been hard to stay indoors these days, as the sunshine and the new growth are filling the landscape with energies that I seem to crave on some carnal level.

As For Next Week…

Next week I’m planning on making herbal incense, following the guide in Our Own Druidry with a few substitutions. I’m also going to begin planning for Beltainne, as I’d like it to be my first ADF High Day Ritual and there is lots to learn. I may also have to ditch work tomorrow, as it’s supposed to be sunny, and go read in the park beneath my favourite Rowan tree.

 

Young rowan, vibrant with new growth.

Young rowan, vibrant with new growth.