Further Down The Path (Weeks 5 & 6)

For the weeks of May 6th – 12th & May 13th – 19th.

A Time of Reflection

As I wrote yesterday, I’ve been in an introspective sort of state. This doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned my studies – quite the opposite, really. I’ve been digesting what I’ve learned and putting it into practice. I’ve been considering the lessons I’ve learned while mentally organizing and cataloging all the new information I’ve absorbed. I’ve been meditating, contemplating, walking through the woods, and painting. But now that I feel I’ve finished assimilating, it’s time to articulate these experiences before moving on to the next.

Meditation and Trance Work

I like to meditate in the mornings. After yoga, a shower, and some breakfast, it’s the perfect way to ease into the day. I don’t work on any specific meditative practice during this time, I simply sit on my deck, surrounded by my plants and the morning light, and breathe. Sometimes, if I’m really tired, I try to build some energy through opening my chakras. But I’ll be honest, it doesn’t usually work. A car drives by or one of my crows stops in to see if there’s any breakfast, and my concentration is shattered. Honestly, it doesn’t bother me at all. Divinity is found in the simple ritual of sitting quietly; muscles warm and relaxed after yoga and a hot shower; my belly full with a green smoothie or, if I’ve been bad, some whole grain pancakes or porridge; my hair still wet and sticking to my shoulders and back; the cool morning air circulating around me making the hairs on my arms react; the smells – of the bakeries down the street and the earthy living scent of my garden. I don’t need to open my chakras to feel rejuvenated and wholly present; just being there, aware and filled with gratitude, does it for me.

While this practice is spiritually necessary, one of the goals of meditation (in my own clumsy words) is to gain wisdom, to try and understand the cosmos, and my morning routine doesn’t exactly do that. That’s not to say there isn’t wisdom in the quiet reflection of my sleepy little garden. But there needs to be more direction, more focus, so I’ve been working on The Two Powers meditation. I was having a little trouble because, although I have been attempting to memorize the script, trying to recite it to myself was very un-meditative. I was considering recording as an mp3 when a friend and fellow DP student pointed out that Ian Corrigan had already done this. Well, problem solved. I’ve been working with his recording and it’s helped me exponentially. Thanks, Gentlemen – you both rock.

ADF Studies

I took a weekish off from studying for ADF so I could fully reflect on my Beltane experiences as well as read a couple non-ADF books. Last week I started reading Drawing Down The Moon by Margot Adler for one of my Modern Paganism titles. I read this book 8 or so years ago when I first started studying Paganism, and for someone brand new to the path I remember it being a little overwhelming but very informative. Despite having read it already, I wanted to give it another look, especially an analytical look. I’m most interested in seeing if her views are still relevant, some 30 years since the original publication, as well as when viewed by someone who has been reading and practicing Neo-Paganism for some time. I’ve heard a lot of negative things about Ms. Adler’s writing, but I haven’t let them influence my perception going in. It’s often true that the more widely published a Pagan author is, the more flack they get from the community. Some of it is warranted – Silver Ravenwolf is unreadable, for instance. But Scott Cunningham was a lovely man and an eloquent writer, despite his popularity. I’m giving Adler the same benefit of the doubt.

Aside from reading, I’ve begun looking toward the Summer Solstice, which is a month away. I am hoping to borrow a tent form a friend and spend the night beneath the stars, but I’m not entirely sure that will be possible. Either way, I feel that this High Day needs to be spent out of doors. For Beltane, I modified two rituals and added my own words to make it a little more personal. I am hoping to take it a step further and write the entire ritual for the Summer Solstice. I’d like to join the Bards Guild at some point, so working on my spiritual writing in preparation is something I need to do.

I’ve also been been considering starting my Virtue Essays. I want to wait until later in my DP year to write many of the essays required, as I want my experiences practicing ADF Druidry to be reflected in my writing. While there is no doubt that my perception of the virtues will change, I think it’s time that I start (at least preliminarily) to put my thoughts down.

Nature Awareness

Part of the DP is to focus on Nature Awareness. I find this instruction rather redundant, as it was my awareness of nature that lead me to Paganism in the first place. Every day I’m aware. I observe, I listen, I write, I paint, I interact, and I give thanks to nature. But the past two weeks have been especially lovely. Check out yesterday’s post for some photos and reflections on May in Beautiful British Columbia.

On Saturday, I found a molting female elephant seal on the beach not too far from my home. While the Parks Board has roped off a large area for her, my mind has continually gone back to her welfare. Today is a public holiday in British Columbia and the day is sunny and warm. I think the beach will be crowded with families enjoying one of the first beach days of the season, and I feel the seal’s comfort and safety may be at risk. I think I’ll head down to the beach to check on her and make sure the children and dogs are giving her enough space. While I’m always aware and (overly?) sensitive to human involvement/infringement with and on wildlife and nature in general, I feel especially concerned for this seal. She really picked the wrong beach to rest on.

Molting female elephant seal. The Parks Board roped off a quarter acre for her so she could have some space, but I feel her presence on a heavily-trafficked public beach puts her at risk.

Molting female elephant seal. The Parks Board roped off a quarter acre for her so she could have some space, but I feel her presence on a heavily-trafficked public beach puts her at risk.

I hope this finds you enjoying the beauty of spring,
Eira.

 

Nature Is My Temple

In which the Witch digests her words

Some weeks I don’t feel much like writing. It’s a cyclic thing, really – going from experience to reflection to introspection. The past two weeks I’ve been feeling fairly non-communicative, being in the introspective arch in my pattern. So I read a few novels and watched some crappy movies. For years I felt like I was wasting time and often chided myself, thinking this time could be spent learning or experiencing or progressing. I know now that that’s total bullshit. Downtime is essential. What does a snake do after eating a large meal? It rests while digesting. During the winter nature looks inward and prepares for the spring. After absorbing a lot of new information and experiences whilst expending a lot of energy, is it so unnatural to shut down a bit while ones mind and body fully digests?

But the wheel always turns…

I emerged from my mid-spring hibernation late last week feeling revived and balanced. I usually spend weeks like this in the woods or by the sea, painting, writing, exploring, etc… Regardless of the activity, I feel an intense craving for natural surroundings during these times, cravings so intense they’ve woken me in the middle of the night, panic-stricken and disoriented. The only cure is to shed my socks and shoes and bury my toes in the soil or sand. I leave my coat or sweater in the car and expose as much skin as legally allowed so I can feel the wind move acrossaroundoverthrough my body and stir within me something deep and primal. I soak up the sun and let the rain mat my hair.

This is my ritual, my prayer, my temple. I leave offerings to the spirits of the land and little presents for the birds and animals. I pick up trash while talking to the trees. I believe the Gods and Goddesses are everywhere, all the time, and so if my workings are done outdoors in nature, so shall they be my ritual.

She who charts the seasons

I also use this time to chart the seasons. Observing which plants are in flower, which flowers are going to seed, and which seeds are being scattered is so deeply meditative. I sketch and paint in my nature journal in an attempt to intimately understand all forms of life. I’ll leave you with a few of my favourite observations of this past weekend…

The salmon berry bushes are ripening, many with a mixture of hard green berries and fully ripe orange and red berries. I picked a few for a snack but left most for the gray squirrels who were collecting them.

The salmon berry bushes are ripening, many with a mixture of hard green berries and fully ripe orange and red berries. I picked a few for a snack but left most for the gray squirrels who were collecting them. (Photo taken with my iPhone with no editing.)

The thimble berry bushes are fully in bloom, their petals resembling the delicate wild rose bushes also in the area. Thimble berries are my absolute favourite of the local berries, but they usually don't ripen until July.

The thimble berry bushes are fully in bloom, their petals resembling the delicate wild rose bushes also in the area. Thimble berries are my absolute favourite of the local berries, but they usually don’t ripen until July. (Taken with my iPhone.)

The Laburnum, or yellow chain tree, are in full bloom. You can hear the drone of the bees 10 feet away. (Taken with my iPhone.)

The Laburnum, or yellow chain tree, are in full bloom. You can hear the drone of the bees 10 feet away. (Taken with my iPhone…too windy for a very clear shot.)

My favourite log on one of my favourite local beaches. The shore is lines with rowan trees, beech trees, and maple, which make for a truly unique atmosphere. There were Canadian geese with their goslings swimming out in the bay, but I didn't have my good camera with me to get a photo.

My favourite log on one of my favourite local beaches. The shore is lined with rowan trees, beech trees, and maple, which makes for a truly unique atmosphere. There were Canadian geese with their goslings swimming out in the bay, but I didn’t have my good camera with me to get a photo. (Taken with my iPhone.)

Saturday had the most brilliant rain storm, with wind and a bit of thunder. I happened to find myself at my favourite duckpond next to the beach, where two Swans were taking their cygnets out for a swim.

Saturday had the most brilliant rain storm, with wind and a bit of thunder. I happened to find myself at my favourite duckpond next to the beach, where two Swans were taking their cygnets out for a swim.

The Parks Board had roped off a section of the beach to protect this molting elephant seal. She looked absolutely miserable in the rain and wind, but I was so pleased at how respectful people with dogs were being of her condition.

The Parks Board had roped off a section of the beach to protect this molting elephant seal. She looked absolutely miserable in the rain and wind, but I was so pleased at how respectful people with dogs were being of her condition.

There were also eagles, a great blue heron, red winged black birds, crows, a raven, gulls, pigeons, and all sorts of small birds hanging around the duckpond. The island in the middle where the ducks nest is obscured by bushes, but I think I heard the faint peeps of baby mallards and mergansers coming from the brush. Next week I will definitely return to see how they fare.

Sometimes, all one needs is a weekend in nature.

May Your Fires Burn Bright – Beltane Ritual

This was my first ADF ritual, and maybe more importantly, my first High Day celebration with a Druidic twist. I didn’t find myself nervous like I did when I was building up to my first Wiccan High Day, which let me relax and focus more on the experience and less on the formalities. Part of the DP training requires the student to write a short essay on their experiences at each of the High Days, and while this post will definitely be that, I also want to include some thoughts on the lead up to Beltane. 

The Triple Hallows

In my Hearth Culture, the Cosmos are thought of as Three Realms: Sky, Land, and Sea. The Sky is where the Shining Ones dwell and is represented by the Fire Hallow. The Land is where we dwell and is represented by the Sacred Tree. The Sea is the Underworld where the dead journey to reach the afterlife, and is represented by the Well. Together the Triple Hallows form the Sacred Center, which is opened during ritual to connect us with those beyond the veil.

So,when preparing for Beltane, I created my Triple Hallows.

On Making Holy Water

The Well is essential to Druidic ritual. During the ritual the Well is filled with Holy Water and is used to anoint those in attendance as well as the shrine, much in the way Holy Water is used in other religions. There are many different methods, thoughts, practices, etc… that people go by to create Holy Water, which really is just water blessed by or sacred to the user.

I gave this process a lot of thought, as I didn’t want to just fill up my Well with tap water. I chose to honor the Three Realms dually by filling my Well with waters collected from three different sources.

For Land, I chose a mountain spring. This water runs from deep within the roots of the Coastal Mountains and is as clean and pure as water can get.

Mountain Spring, Lynn Valley Headwaters. Taken with my iPhone.

Mountain Spring, Lynn Valley Headwaters. Taken with my iPhone.

For the Sea I went up a ways up the inlet to where the water is unpolluted by urban industry. The sun was setting on Beltane Eve and the experience was nothing short of moving. I kicked off my shoes and stood in the cool waters of high tide and felt the glow of dusk settle around the harbor.

Sunset at Cates Park. Photo taken on my iPhone.

Sunset at Cates Park. Photo taken on my iPhone.

For the Sky, I wanted to collect rain water. The irony wasn’t lost on me that the moment I decided to do this, the clouds parted and the sun came out. So, I gathered the next best thing: fresh glacial run-off and snow melt from high in the mountains. Unfortunately, I left my phone in the car and was unable to take a picture.

The Ritual

My shrine. I've been collecting more branches for my Sacred Tree, which now has Rowan, Oak, Apple, Willow, and Maple. While Maple is not one of the sacred Druidic trees, it is sacred to Canada and felt my own homeland spirits should be honored.

My shrine. I’ve been collecting more branches for my Sacred Tree, which now has Rowan, Oak, Apple, Willow, and Maple. While Maple is not one of the sacred Druidic trees, it is sacred to Canada and felt my own homeland spirits should be honored.

I started the ritual with ringing my little brass bell 9 times and working through the Two Powers meditation. Next came Purification and I opted to use my favourite stanza from my favourite poem by Percy Shelley. I have always felt that it has a strong tie to Paganism, despite that not being the author’s intent:

I am the daughter

Of Earth and Water

And nurseling of the Sky

I pass through the pores

Of the Ocean and the Shores

I change, but I cannot die

I honored the Earth Mother with an offering of honey and corn meal.

Offerings to the Earth Mother.

Offerings to the Earth Mother.

During the Earth Mother offering I was overcome by an emotion I don’t fully understand. Tears started running down my cheeks and despite my warm apartment, I started to shiver. It wasn’t a negative feeling in the slightest, but I wouldn’t describe it as overwhelmingly positive either. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully understand it, but I plan on meditating on the emotion to see if I can learn anything new.

I honored Cernunnos as the Gatekeeper, and offered him sage leaves and olive oil, which I burned in the cast iron firepot which serves as my Fire Hallow. I’ve never honored Him as anyone other than the God of a ceremony, but I think we were both happy with Him in this role. I always felt Cernunnos was introverted and observant, so I think He enjoyed being included but not in the spotlight.

I made sacrifices to the Ancestors, Spirits, and Gods and Goddesses in the form of fresh rosemary from my garden, which I burned in my firepot, and hot tea sweetened with honey. The tea was a blend of hibiscus petals, rose hips, orange peel, blackberry leaves, and ginger root. I think the combination of the vibrant fuchsia colour and intense summer flavours was a perfect offering for Beltane. 

My Beings of Occasion were Blodeuwedd and the Sidhe. I wrote them each a short poem and read them during the ritual. I gave them both some of my Beltane tea as well as lavender flowers for Blodeuwedd and a dogwood flower for the Sidhe.

Quert, or Apple, Ogham Stave. This stave comes from my set that is made from each corresponding wood type by a Coven in England.

Quert, or Apple, Ogham Stave. This stave comes from my set that is made from each corresponding wood type by a Coven in England.

After the offerings and blessing requests, I spread my handmade casting cloth and drew one Ogham stave. I drew Quert – the Apple Tree, which speaks of Choice and Mental Healing. Mentally, I have been healing from past traumas which have had a significant impact on my life. I feel that for the first time since childhood I’ve been free to make decisions that aren’t centered around my mental state. I’m taking this as an omen that the Goddesses and Gods are standing with me, encouraging me, and above all telling me that I’m (finally) on the right path. This Ogham also talks about mental discipline and focusing ones energies. Could this be about my recent move to ADF and Druidry? Could this be them agreeing that this is the right place for me? Finally, Quert can be a sign to make a choice. This may be the first time in my life that I don’t feel I’m at a crossroads, so I’m not entirely sure what choice it’s speaking of. Maybe the choice correspondence isn’t relevant to me, and I drew this stave because of the mental healing and academic discipline meanings. Time will tell, I’d imagine. Regardless, I believe this was an wonderful sign that my offerings were accepted and blessings were bestowed.

After the omen, I gave my thanks and closed the gates.

Reflections…

Throughout the entire ritual, I felt centered and empowered. I opted to move my shrine indoors, which I initially thought would take away from my connection to the Earth, but it wasn’t too much of a hindrance. (I have a nosy neighbour who likes to look around the privacy divider between our balconies whenever she hears me outside.) I loved the flow of the ritual, the pacing, and the atmosphere. The burning herbs mixed with the oak shavings and cedar incense, the sweet herbal tea and the water from my three sources… it was indeed magickal. I will admit that in the past I never really felted moved at rituals, I felt like I was going through the steps, more so focused on fancy words written by others than on the actual spirituality. This was different; I truly felt connected. 

I hope this post finds you spiritually sated and in the after-glow of your own Beltane experiences,
Eira Silversage.

Beltane – High Day Essay

Beltane is the 2nd cross-quarter day of the Neopagan calendar, known as the Wheel of the Year or individually as High Days. While some cultures celebrate Beltane Eve based on the lunar calendar, the vast majority of Pagan’s celebrate Beltane on April 30th-May 1st. At its heart, Beltane is a fire fertility festival which marks the beginning of the summer months, it’s opposite being Samhain (October 31st –November 1st.)

Beltane Grove by Mickie Mueller

Beltane Grove by Mickie Mueller

The lore talks of a thawed earth, fertile and abundant with new life. The Gods and Goddesses mirror this fertility in their own story with the Great Marriage and the impregnation of the Goddess, who carries the new God until his birth at Yule. So when we speak of Beltane being a fertility festival, we speak not only of sex, but of the land which grows our food and the maturing of livestock, and the conception of intellectual ideas and an overall abundance. The time between Beltane and Midsummer is the time to grow, to nurture new ideas and see them carefully cared for and blessed. We ask the Shining Ones to join us in these acts, as their guidance and blessings can help seal our success.

Beltane Reunion by Emily Balivet

Beltane Reunion by Emily Balivet

There are many cultural influences in modern Beltane rituals stemming from different ancient Pagan cultures. The name Beltane comes from the Celts, so named after the God Bel (Belenus). Germanic cultures celebrate May 1st as Walpurgis Night, while the Roman’s honored the Festival of Flora. Despite many different cultures customs, the heart of the High Day remains the same. Today, we celebrate with burning bale fires, which can be jumped over or walked around to bring luck. Maypoles are erected and danced around, baskets and garlands of flowers are given and worn, hand fasting ceremonies are held, and seasonal foods and drink are shared amongst Pagan communities. Some also choose to honor Beltane by mirroring the union between the God and Goddess (but only consenting adults, please!)

The Council of Cernunnos - Beltane Rites by Emily Balivet

The Council of Cernunnos – Beltane Rites by Emily Balivet

Beltane is a celebration of life and the beauty of Mother Earth. We share in Her abundance and give freely of our own. We ask for the protection and inspiration of the Gods and Goddesses to help guide us through the impending months of hard work, and pray that we are rewarded with bountiful crops and the fruition of our ideas.

May Your Fires Burn Bright,
Beltane Blessings!

Further Down The Path (Week 3)

For the week of April 22nd to 28th.

April is coming to a close and Beltane is less than two days away. I’ve spent most of my spare time preparing for this High Day, which also happens to be my first ADF ritual. I always feel a touch of sadness around the High Days as a solitary; I’d love to dance around a maypole with ribbons in my hair and feast on Spring delicacies as part of a Grove. It’s hard to walk the Wheel of the Year alone, this year more than most it seems.

Meditation and Trance Work

I’ve been working with the Two Powers meditation in preparation for the Beltane ritual. I’m getting much more fluid with it, finding it easier to hold the imagery and ignore distractions. I’ve found that it’s easier for me to focus on the experience when I have music playing, not only because it blocks out auditory distractions but because it can really help set the mood. I pick a track that fits with the meditation I’m working with or the goal I want to achieve and just let my mind go. It’s such a simple addition, but it’s increased my meditative focus and stamina like you wouldn’t believe.

Musings on Hearth Cultures

I’ve always viewed the Pagan Gods and Goddesses as representations of the whole, not in the Wiccan duotheistic sense, but more so in a general all-encompassing sense. I believe that everything is connected by and through Spirit, and Gods and Goddesses exist as figureheads, archetypes, and even physical manifestations of the divine; that when you pray to one Goddess, you are praying to them all.

Enter Ár nDraíocht Féin. ADF views things a little differently, mostly because those who design ADF rituals are “hard polytheists” and see each deity as a completely separate entity. I don’t see this as clashing with my take on polytheism necessarily, if anything it just feels more evolved and defined. The Core Order of Ritual exists to give form and function, as well as the specific ADF flavour, to rituals, both publicly and privately. Beyond that there is zero doctrine that states what you can and cannot believe as an individual. If I personally see Don and Danu as the same Goddess, who is to say I am wrong? All ADF is asking is that I pick one to work with during a ritual if I want to call it an ADF ritual. If anything, I think this will help me focus my understanding and relationships with the Gods and Goddesses I already know, and will encourage me to work with one I don’t.

However, my relationships with the Celtic deities doesn’t fit well with the ADF COoR. So I’ve spent the better part of the last two days trying to work with what I practice at my hearth into something malleable enough to suit an ADF Beltane ritual. It’s been tough. I have no Celtic version of the Earth Mother; Ceridwen has always been my go-to Goddess Mama. The only God I really have a relationship with is Cernunnos. They are from different Celtic pantheons. So how do I work an ADF ritual without deviating too far from my own practices? It feel like a spiritual Jenga puzzle; everything teetering and wobbling and ultimately requiring the utmost care and forethought. Eventually, sometime late this evening, I surrendered to the conflict and decided to just go with it.

Ian Corrigan recently said “I tend to see belief trailing ritual. One does the rituals, gets results, then builds opinion on that.” So, with that in mind, I am going to go forth as open as I can be to new experiences and let the work shape my Hearth Culture. It’s a little scary, as it feels like I’m spiritually free-falling. I’m not sure the Celtic pantheon will still be my Hearth Culture by the end of my DP, but it’s such an important evolution that needs to happen organically and with as little conscious influence as possible.

Beltane Preparations

Keeping in mind my spiritual dilemmas discussed above, I’ve made my selection of deities that I will be working with for Beltane. For now, I will continue calling the Earth Mother by her generic, all-encompassing name, which I feel is perfectly acceptable. I have always seen the Earth Mother as a primal element; something older than the Goddesses created by humanity, something not to be fucked with. Cernunnos will be my Gatekeeper. I’ve decided that the Beings of Occasion will be Blodeuwedd, with a little love sent to the Sidhe. I went with Blodeuwedd because of her sexuality and her passion; she-of-the-flowers with her eternal message of self-rebirth and independence screams of the wild and unrestrained celebration of Beltane. The Sidhe are being recognized because this is their time of year. As I child I was told that every blossom was tended by a Fae, that they were the shepherds of Spring.

I have also been in the process of creating Holy Water, which I will write about at length soon, as well as collecting the various items needed for the ritual. Oak, Rowan, Willow, and Hazel boughs, daffodil petals, fiddlehead ferns, etc… are all coming together, carefully selected and carried home in my lovely little white wicker basket; a proverbial flower girl indeed. Tomorrow, I just need to finish my ritual writing (which I will probably share on Wednesday) and prepare for a May 1st dawn Beltane ritual. I’m beyond twitterpated!

 

Further Down The Path (Week 2)

For the week of April 15th – 21st

You will have to forgive me for the delay; I know this post is late. You see, the spring has me tangled her her roots and vines, and the harder I fight the stronger her pull. The sun has been out and everything is green, yet here has been a couple storms reminding us that the Cailleach of the North is still near by. My hands are stained with soil and moss, and my feet are chaffed from sand in my shoes from blustery walks on the beach. It’s very hard to sit indoors and study when the world is overflowing with original material. So, there I am, and it’s not without a pang of resentment that I am indoors writing, and not lying beneath a tree being dusted with dandelion pollen and sharing a late lunch with a family of squirrels.

Meditation and Trance Work

With the return of the spring comes the unwelcome return of electric lawn mowers. It seems that every time I’ve ventured onto my deck to sit at my little altar and let my mind wander the cosmos, someone shatters my silence with modern convenience. Oh, how I loathe the electric lawn mower! Sending fumes into the earth and air, polluting the yards, and indiscriminately destroying the microcosmic ecosystems. I watched, with horror (yes, horror) as this monster of a machine tore up patches of dandelions, daisy, and these lovely little blue flowers with no reason at all but an apparent desire for lawn uniformity. Alas, this as made meditation a little more difficult during the morning hours. I have, a few times, been a psychic rebel, and in the dark hours after twilight sat with this lawn in view and sent my energy to will the flower to return. I imagine their roots and stems growing strong, nourished by the spring showers that frequent our mountainside. I’ve tried projecting my thoughts towards them, encouraging them, sending them light and fortitude. Only time will tell if it’s helped.

I also tried my first standing meditation this past weekend. I was on the beach, and despite the hail and rain, I stood in ankle deep water on a rocky shore and felt the cold Pacific water wash over me and break against my shins. The storm had brought up tiny kelp bulbs, crabs, muscles, clams, and sea lettuce, which were swaying in the tide like dancers. I stood, mountain pose, facing the sea and felt the wind and rain beat against my face and arms. I gave not two shits for the dreary dog walkers and inquisitive Chinese family who, I knew, were watching me with suspicion. I just stood there, feeling the energy and the power of the sea and the storm. I do not know how long I stood there; 10 minutes, maybe 20… but my fingers turned red and numb, my hair a matted, damp mess, and my clothes soaked through. It was nothing short of amazing.

The Wild West Coast, April 2013.

The Wild West Coast, April 2013. Taken with my iPhone.

ADF Studies

As mentioned above, I haven’t been doing much of the book-type studying this week. After finishing Travels Through Middle Earth on the 18th of April, I haven’t so much as cracked the cover of another book. I have been working on a nature journal which, for someone like me who is an artist and a writer, it’s been very meditative. I haven’t attempted to draw anything life-like for years, so actually coming out of my mind to draw from life is more challenging than expected. I fully intend to keep this practice up.

My books have arrived, with the exception of one that is coming from a second hand store somewhere deep in the USA. I think the next book I’ll read is Drawing Down The Moon by Margot Adler. I have always intended to read this book, but years ago when I was actively studying Wicca, I never got around to it. I feel almost embarrassed to admit this and look forward to correcting this oversight.

Finally, I’ve been preparing for Beltane, which is fast approaching. I’m planning on using a structure which is a blend of ADF COoR (Core Order of Ritual) with inspiration from Teo Bishop over at Solitary Druid Fellowship, and with a bit of lyrical prose written by myself. For those uncomfortable or unfamiliar with writing their own thoughts I can understand the desire to use the words written by others. Personally, I’ve cultivated my writing skills for over 20 years and feel that as a wannabe-Bard (especially), I should take ever opportunity presented to craft my own rituals. We shall see h0w successful I am.

Further Down The Path (Week 1)

It’s no secret that the older you get, the faster time seems to move. I don’t know about you, but I can barely remember the details of what I did last Friday, let alone last Monday. Weeks blur together and leave me with a feeling; good, bad, mediocre, painful, joyous, anxious, etc. Or, if any of you are as empathetic and emotional as I am, you may also feel all those emotions on a daily basis. This is why I journal, so my life doesn’t pass me by without being able to take pause and really remember how much beauty was in a certain sunset, or why I felt so rotten/happy/angry on a particular day.

I realized shortly after joining ADF that I’d need to reevaluate how I organize my life. Not to say that I was previously “wrong” in how I was living, but more so because my priorities shifted, and religious practices and pursuits are now at the forefront. Essentially, I was no longer meditating to only gain a little mental stillness; I was meditating to meet my deities. I was no longer wandering the forest trails and having moments of undeniable connection with the hidden groves and sacred trees of my land, I was communing with nature and interacting with the Spirits. Perhaps I was doing the latter all along, and only now have the knowledge to give such moments a name.

For the week of April 7th – 14th.

Meditation and Trance Work

I have this routine; I wake up, do 20 minutes of sun salutation-style yoga, then sit down on my deck and meditate to welcome the new day. It’s a grounded and thoughtful way to start the day; when I’m forced to skip it, I get cranky. While I do understand and appreciate the religious qualities and intentions of yoga, this is not an area I’m focusing on currently (there is only so much I can fit in my brain at once.) But meditation, now that is skill I seriously need to cultivate.

I have a love/hate relationship with meditation. No, not hate; it’s frustration, pure and simple. I have this idea in my head that, for me, meditation is achieving serenity. So I settle myself in the lotus position, surrounded by the chirping songbirds and the smell of cool, dewy evergreens. It’s shortly after dawn, and even with eyes closed, my vision is flooded with warm sunlight. I still my mind and just breathe; in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4. I sometimes chant “as above, so below” in my mind as I breathe, as I feel it lulls any lingering outer-world distractions.

But this state lasts for about 5 minutes before a car door slams, my tummy rumbles, or my mind starts in on the day’s to-do list. After that initial state is broken, I can never seem to regain it. Once my brain shifts from a quiet state, I have to think too much to still it and all is lost. Our Own Druidry talks about practicing achieving the meditative state; that, like any skill, it needs to be nurtured in order to be improved upon. So while Passing the Mist is something I am deeply looking forward to, I know I am not ready yet. Any attempts I make right now to enter the other realms, to leave my earthly body, to go just a little bit deeper would only be the fantasies of a wannabe. So, for now, every morning and every evening, I will continue practicing. Even if I find myself sitting in front of my shrine going over my recipe for blueberry muffins.

Our Own Druidry

When I first joined ADF in late February, I read through Our Own Druidry – Dedicant Manual. This first pass was intended to familiarize myself with the lore and ritual of ADF; sort of like trying something on before buying it. Clearly, I bought it. And this past week I reread the manual, highlighter and page markers in hand, to really absorb the foundation of ADF. Spirituality aside, what really struck me was the frank honesty of the authors. Until now, so much of what I’ve read by Neo-Pagan organizations feels like a sort of posturing. People want their path to be the path, and in doing so seem to replace authenticity with either vanity or ego. So little attention is actually given to the heritage of Neo-Pagan beliefs, that it allows for people to ad lib an entire religion around themselves  (essentially forming a cult) or exist in the shallow waters of “OMGs I LOVED Practical Magic. Blessed Be, Dear Sister.”

Neither have any appeal to me. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that I am embarrassed and offended when lumped together with such individuals. Which is essentially why Wicca ceased to appeal to me.

I’ve been searching for real Neo-Paganism; the kind that is rooted in history and lore, that focuses on a way of life and not an image or an after-thought. I want to create life-long bonds with the spirits of this land and with my Gods and Goddesses. I want to honor my ancestors. I want to develop friendships with those who walk this path, ones built on respect and kinship. I want to help build a community. Reading the Dedicant Manual for a second time made me flush with inspiration and, what I can only recognize as, commitment.

ADF Studies

This week I went through the Dedicant’s reading list and selected the books I want to read this year. My ever-supportive husband gave me the green light, and I bought all of them. Every last carefully selected one (8 in total.) They are now hurdling towards me in an Amazon.ca package, right into my outstretch grabby hands.

I admit, Hearth Cultures really had me stumped. I’ve always had a bit of trouble distinguishing between intellectual/scholarly interest and spiritual connection. I’ve studied Paganism long enough to know that what you necessarily like doesn’t equate with attunement and connection. I have been a worshiper of the Celtic pantheon since before I started official Pagan studies, and haven’t really ever considered other alternatives. I do, however, have a really strong interest in the Norse pantheon and have always wanted to know more about the Saxons. I figured this was an excellent time to invest in all three.

While I have no doubt the Celt’s are my Hearth Culture, I am incredibly interested in the practice some Grove’s have adopted which honor specific pantheons for specific High Days. One day, when I’m part of a Grove, I think I’d be open to this.

Well before I joined ADF I bought “Travels Through Middle Earth” by Alaric Albertsson, which happens to be on the reading list for Saxon Hearth Culture. I bought this book mainly because I’m a glutton for anything relating to the stories and lore of Middle Earth (both Tolkien’s Middle Earth and our own.) I started reading it last night, and so far it’s been incredibly enjoyable and informative. I love Albertsson’s sense of humor and his very approachable way of delivering the information. I won’t say much more for now, as it will all be in my eventual book report.

Nature Observations

Where I live, it’s hard not to observe the seasons. I’m lucky enough to be facing away from the city towards the mountains, so I see trees. Oh, so many trees! The new growth on the tips of the evergreens are bright and supple this week. The cherry trees are in full bloom, their soft-pink petals falling like snow when the wind stirs. In fact, it’s been hard to stay indoors these days, as the sunshine and the new growth are filling the landscape with energies that I seem to crave on some carnal level.

As For Next Week…

Next week I’m planning on making herbal incense, following the guide in Our Own Druidry with a few substitutions. I’m also going to begin planning for Beltainne, as I’d like it to be my first ADF High Day Ritual and there is lots to learn. I may also have to ditch work tomorrow, as it’s supposed to be sunny, and go read in the park beneath my favourite Rowan tree.

 

Young rowan, vibrant with new growth.

Young rowan, vibrant with new growth.

Offerings In The Park

There’s a park a couple blocks from my apartment. It’s a pretty standard park, as far as city parks go. It’s got a track for running, some picnic tables, and a small water park which only gets used in August. The park as a few trees around the boarder, some Japanese plum trees and a small grove of cedar, which only really seems to get used as a bathroom stop by young children who’s parents are too lazy to take them to the restrooms. Yet despite the suburbanites overhaul of this once wild and free corner of the neighbourhood, there is still something magickal about the park: it backs onto a forest.

The gateway to the Wild North on the eve of my offering.

The gateway to the Wild North on the eve of my offering.

And not just a forest, the forest, for the trees that trickle down the north side of the park, protecting a small gully with a creek running through it, is one of the southern-most appendages of the Wild North. You can follow this creek (aptly named Mosquito Creek) and it’s tree guardians all the way up into the mountains. So while it’s not a private grove where I can meditate in solitude, it’s still connected to the land that I love. And on a cool, sunny evening in the throws of the new growth of spring, I felt it was a good time to give thanks to the land that sustains me.

I wasn't sure what species this plant was, but the mauve and light green caught my eye and I had to stop and appreciate it.

I wasn’t sure what this plant was, but the mauve and light green caught my eye and I had to stop and appreciate it.

Behind the fence in the “no go” area, I found a young rowan tree growing alongside an ancient pine. The ground was covered in a layer of dead oak leaves (although I couldn’t find any nearby oak trees) of which the dandelions were breaking through and glowing in the setting sun. There was a young huckleberry bush, fiddlehead ferns, and a wild rose bush. It was beautiful.

Young rowan, vibrant with new growth.

Young rowan, vibrant with new growth.

I knelt by the base of the rowan and pine and placed my hands on their trunks. The smooth skin of the rowan contrasted so starkly with the rough, knotted pine bark, which was sticky with rising sap. I was losing light and the early spring coolness of evening was setting in, so I quietly thanked the spirits of the forest and the guardians of my Wild North. I left behind a stalk of wheat from my own garden and a tiger’s eye gem.

A Tiger's Eye gemstone and a stalk of wheat from my own garden; an offering to the spirits of the forest threshold.

A Tiger’s Eye gemstone and a stalk of wheat from my own garden; an offering to the spirits of the forest threshold.

I grow ceremonial wheat in my herb garden. Every year, I plant a small handful of seeds saved for the previous years crop. This way I always have an abundance of offerings for the spirits that are infused with my energy, love, and commitment.

I grow ceremonial wheat in my herb garden. Every year, I plant a small handful of seeds saved from the previous years crop. This way I always have an abundance of offerings for the spirits that are infused with my energy, love, and commitment.

As I was walking back towards the car, the sun broke through the low branches of the pine ridge, illuminating a cherry tree which was just starting to bloom. It was nothing short of breathtaking; a sign, I hope, that my offering was accepted and a blessing bestowed.

The Pine Guardians, protectors of the Wild North.

The Pine Guardians, protectors of the Wild North.

Cherry blossoms in evening sunlight - the perfect blessing.

Cherry blossoms in evening sunlight – the perfect blessing.

May you, dear reader, find a moment of equal spiritual nourishment in the near future.
~Eira